Mary Chapin Carpenter Wisdom

"Sometimes you're the windshield,
sometimes you're the bug..."

There are days lately when I have been feeling the latter metaphor. For whatever reason that I was touting my "noble poverty" over here... I have realized the person I was addressing was myself... and that I am full of DOODLE! I am not proud of my lack. It is true that I am happy with the decisions that I am making that advance me on my path of dharma and practice... but it seems ludicrous to have publicly stated that I enjoy the constant stress of "being without" abundance.

I would leap to guess that this 11 month destructive dance of Pluto's movement through the natal charts of we human encased life-forms is wreaking havoc with my resource sector:

Prime example... many of you may recall how the false tulku that presented himself in our lives earlier this year resulted in our having to pursue criminal charges, and change all of our electronic accounts, close and re-open bank accounts, etcetera, etcetera... ad nauseum. WELL so now this economic stimulus thing is occurring and I'll admit... I was STOKED at the thought of up to $600 magically appearing in my bank account.

Now unfortunately, I "banked" on the money and set up Joy's surgery, and made a few other financial commitments this week based on the knowledge that the last two digits in my SSN are in the "first" batch of disbursements. AND the fact that I had filed my return early with electronic direct deposit gave me confidence I would be one of the chosen ones. YAY... right?

Ummm wrong. The key word: "Early" filing. Meaning before ass-wipe got hold of all my electronic information. Soooo... the IRS is going to try to deposit my stimulation into a bank account which no longer exists. *SIGH*. I talked to the bank yesterday saying (begging, pleading, IMPLORING) "HEY, you KNOW it's me and you know where the new account is... can't ya just SLIDE it on over a few key strokes???"

Nope. Gotta bounce it back to the big dogs, and they will cut a check in a few weeks.

CRAP. A few weeks.

So, the long and short of it is... I acted all high and mighty about my low level resources... and I got a lesson in that Prideful posture. Bada Bing... Bada Boom... Bada Dumbass me and my big mouth (or keyboard as it were.) So, John and I are looking at the life overhaul. Living smarter with our time, money, resources. Giving of ourselves to KPC efforts and extracting a lot of wasted energy from occupations, since we are less than in love with them. Experiencing abundance through suitable vocation and thus maybe opening up the circuits to abundance, fulfillment... and eventually through the grace of the Three Jewels: enlightened intention -- that is the new track ahead (fingers crossed and squeezing!)

Life's a trip. And I don't want to seem ungrateful to our government... thanks for the chunk of change, however and whenever it arrives. I sadly am concerned it is like slapping a band-aid on the bloody stump of a severed off arm (eg: recession)... but I'll stimulate the economy and make some charitable use of it to the best of my ability.

Keep your chins up. (That was plural for inclusion of many people... not to indicate individuals have many chins...) Good lord willin' and the prices of gas don't rise... we'll all make it through this "downturn."

Love,
Bowdawg

Royal Company

Okay... enough jokes about "queens". I just wanted to rattle off a little post of appreciation today. It is something that happens sometimes if mindfulness (not that I am oh so proficient at that... but there are moments) works its way into my thoughts.

Last night a very dear couple held a potluck/cocktail/game night thingy at their gorgeous home in the Village of Oak Creek. So many images come to mind as I reflect on the evening... the warmth with which friends greet one another, the cool breeze wafting through the living room... a clink of glasses as two new friends introduce themselves. The delicious aromatic presence of casseroles, entrees and desserts prepared in earnest. The excitement and energy of a room full of adults playing party games with the fervor of children executing "pin the tail on the donkey". Playful rivalry supporting one another through our moments of silliness. Nurturing a mom who is in discomfort from nurturing. An atmosphere of tolerance, caring and cordial exchange.

So many sensory experiences, and a moment of remembering what the Buddha teaches about the impermanence of all experience... the wish that each of these who are present may simply rest in happiness, a respite from the trials and tribulations that each has and will face. My heart opens like an aperture on a camera... trying to click and save this moment so that I might retain a page in history for each of them when the moment arrives that they call out... now or in any future existence.

And later in the prayer room... a smile fades to a more weary expression, that I have spent so many lifetimes unable to assist, impact, or even notice- and yet here I sit with the jewel in my hand. The potential in this life is rare, awesome, humbling. And what seemed a simple social excursion becomes an opportunity... for laughter, joy, hope... yes, but mostly... for Bodhicitta. For where I go, I ask the guru to be seated at the crown of my head, and watch over the playful dance of phenomena... and entice us each towards compassion in its myriad forms. For this, I truly give thanks. To my hosts, to my friends, and above all to the Three Precious Jewels!

Six Feet Under

Any of you who have heard me rant about my obsession at 5 years old about what would happen when they put me in the earth... (I was laying in bed at Sandstone, my first home in Athens Georgia that I can recall... staring at the lights I called the "static" in the air, and wondering what was going to happen to me when my eyes, ears, mouth and body don't work anymore.)

Flash forward 32 years to my last week and a half OBSESSION with the series Six Feet Under. A friend lent me seasons 2-5 on DVD after I worked my way through season 1 via Netflix.

Holy crap was this an amazing show. First of all... I love the true and yet whimsical nature with which it seemlessly weaves everyday with tragedy - but shows people seeking their highest possible response to difficult scenarios. Next, no subject matter was too taboo (at least for a cable series.) And lastly - the finale: PEOPLE... I who am loathe to give rise to much emotion... SOBBED... I was heaving and crying and so thankful for the catharsis that ensued.

As a Buddhist I recite prayers and practices daily that are pointed to guide the mind towards realizing the precious, and fleeting quality of this human life. Any of us who think this was easy to come by... what a shame, because it has been taught that the rarity of a precious human rebirth can be compared to the number of grains of sand that could fit on a person's thumbnail - versus more difficult forms of life which are as vast as grains of dust on the surface of the entire earth. So the point is, despite the illusion of "overpopulation" on our spiraling hunk of planet... if you take life on this rock and consider is among all potential in the universe, and then the small percentage of life on this precious Earth that are human (compared to bugs, animals and any sensing creature that cannot reason cognitively in the same capacity as a man or woman.) And then the very slight number of those humans who come in contact with the Truth of existence and the ability to capitalize on that information spiritually... well folks... we are down to those grains of sand on a pin head.

So as I watched the graceful ability that Alan Ball had to portray at least a true "flash forward" on a show that took an unabashed honesty at all of our Destination... I just wept. I wept for realizing the truth that I had only academically allowed to penetrate my mind. I wept for my precious parents and grandparents who are my human lineage. I wept for those I have already lost... and those losses that loom inevitably in the upcoming years. I wept with gratitude that I have Jetsunma, the practices of P'howa and the Chimed Sog Thig which give hope in an otherwise dark universe... and I prayed for my swift abililty to offer something SUBSTANTIAL to this world, this universe and all those with whom I have a deep connection.

I offer it for you here... probably not as much of an impact if you haven't grown to know the characters yet... but I ask you to take the time to watch, listen and realize the message of truth that mortality offers. There is no future, there is no past... there is just this moment. (Ooops that is from RENT, but hey... pop culture is beginning to reflect more spiritual endeavors. Don't hesitate to seek your truth, you never know how much time you have!!

52 Card Pickup

I do not consciously remember "choosing" this life. I hear all manner of theories (especially around Sedona) about whether people pick their parents, evolve up some spiritual ladder, or the "insert your idea here" thought about cosmic truths that affect our birth here on earth.

As a Buddhist, I have the preferred information that I proscribe to and choose to follow (for me of course.) Karma, and the extremely detailed and thorough teachings that the Buddha and all genuine bodhisattvas who have taught leave nothing to chance. I cannot say that we as students always LIKE the information we receive, but it is so consistent and has not changed in authenticity for over 2,000 years. So I have great faith in the teachings. My application and adherence to the understanding of karma leaves something to be desired, but I do appreciate that if I CHOOSE to know, the information is solid!

So today, at the instruction of Jetsunma, many if not all KPC students were deeply involved in a confessional and purification process as there was a perfect outer metaphor occuring in our Maryland Temple. The beautiful shrine room that contains our lineage altar, our lineage holder's thrones, and a mandala (three dimensional representation of the atmosphere of a Buddha) became the back drop for a jackhammer, busting through the foundation of our temple to address a 2 decade old plumbing issue. Simultaneously, through mindful practice, we each had to break through our solid and protective foundation, in the presence of a pristine unbroken lineage that traces back through history -- and handle the "shit" that was trapped there and eroding the ground from beneath us.

It is a beautiful occasion for those who seek to transform their poisons into their strengths!

So as I was doing my best to go to the inner place I needed to go to, despite a chaotic work environment... I looked at patterns, bad habits and cycles that I seem to constantly repeat. And I was later struck by the notion of the game "52 card pickup". I remember the excitement I had the first time I stood before somebody who promised to teach me a fun new game.

Friend: "Wanna Play 52 card pickup"
Me (unable to contain my enthusiasm): "YES!!"
Friend: "Here ya go..." [And at that point the entire deck of playing cards would be launched in an utterly absurdly humiliating fashion by the joke player into your atmosphere. An excellent film maker would be able to capture the moment with a super slow motion effect that conveys how stupid I feel by having been so gullible.]

Well guess what. According to our karma, we take birth. We move from that passage between having previously died (consciousness leaving the body) and being karmically drawn to our next birth. If we have the habit of anger, we are drawn to that energy, if our thing is desire... then our consciousness seeks a lusty scenario to take birth. Are we needy? Then a realm descibed as insatiable and unfulfilling arises. You get the drift right? Like attracts like. And even if we argue "but my parents drove me crazy, we are nothing alike..." the Buddha would tell you that as you sought rebirth (not consciously, like selecting our latte from Starbucks- with this topping or that lowfat - or skim this and hold the whatever...) A truly instinctive, habitual energy drove each of us into the union of those 2 parents in that moment.

So I was thinking about how funny it is that I (metaphorically speaking) got excited by being invited to play a game... (LIFE) and as soon as I agreed... those 52 cards were flying. This is not the game I expected when I impulsively agreed to play (again!) But just as we laughed and learned from the person who played it on us, we knew we'd never have to fall for it again if we just remember that we've been through it before... and thus avoid walking blindly into the trap!

We all thought it would be fun to take rebirth... and now we spend a fair amount of our life trying to pick these random cards up and get them back in order like the deck was before our agreement to play sent it cascading all around us. It is not like we suffer ALL THE TIME. But we do suffer throughout the duration of this life. We lose something we had. We can't get something we want. We have something and are nervous we won't be able to keep it, or keep it new, or keep it clean. We try to be healthy (most of us) but always end up with some eventual ailment or difficulty. Or we are healthy but a friend or loved one isn't, and we must involve ourselves to help them. Or we are blissfully happy our whole life - and then it is that much more we feel we lose when we are dying... etc, etc, etc.

I try to enter conversations with people sometimes... get a sense of their ideas about the afterlife as they understand it, their beliefs about how it all (mostly their life) came into being. Ironically, not many people have a clear understanding or even opinion about it. I am not that person! I have been obsessed since at least age 5 with the "bigger picture". Not like fear and paralysis... but interest, curiosity, and an absolute certainty that this life was not the "end all be all" of my journey.

It was not until intersecting with the Tibetan form of Buddhism that I began finding the answers, or that I understood the IMPORTANCE of this life to the bigger unfolding... but I am now painfully aware of what dilemma is presented by the illusion of FREE WILL.

Free will from a morality perspective (that nobody should be forced into any situation, especially a harmful one) is a good thing. Living in a society where we have at least the legal right to live as individuals (I'll dodge an opportunity to shoot holes in this theory for now) proves the karmic connection that we have with that idea. But as we are moving towards a more tenative scenario in the world at large and in our country in particular... I find myself chalking a lot of our group karma (as Americans) up to a similar pattern. Entitlement mentality. Deciding that because we are this or have this or have done this... we are automatically and intrinsically ENTITLLED to (freedom, happiness, our opinion...etc.) Clearly I believe in this because I am, right this moment, publishing my opinion to the world wide web. Who am I to publish my opinion? But I have the right to do so, and the freedom to make it happen.

On a deeply subtle level though - we ignore the consequences of our choices. It is appalling to spend even a small amount of time attempting an honest confession (not to something outside of you, but to your nature which is FULLY AWARE of what you think, do, say and mean.) What is concerning is to know (intellectually) the principles of cause and effect, and yet to be so bound and determined to be happy and content RIGHT NOW, that I couldn't care less about the results of my choices. And it hits hardest when it presents so all pervasively.

This morning I watched the image in my head of the 52 cards that constitute my ethics, choices and daily practice spray out of the hands of a trickster (we'll call it "THE EGO") and show me that the game I was interested in playing... was nothing similar to what I believed until it was underway.

So my point? Get spiritual everyone. Not MORALISTIC, Not HOLIER-THAN-THOU, not even necessarily RELIGIOUS. But take an inventory of your mind and life. What do you know for SURE. What are you willing to bet your life on? Because every choice we make is birthing a consequence SIMULTANEOUSLY. It just may not be clear to you, if you ignore it, until you are approaching or already beginning your death process.

[Drumroll.... another methaphor:]

A man chooses not to pay attention to a manageable bill the day it arrives in the mail. 2 weeks later he gets a second notice, and pays some of it. This pattern continues and eventually, as fees and useage increase, his balance due has increased significantly... one month he receives the dreaded third notice. In bright red font, is the cut off or collection or repossession notice and finally the balance due is not "handy" if you will.

Now he owes the money, has trashed his relationship with the company (and anybody who checks his credit worthiness) and is stressed about how to fix this mess (thus introducing potential health issues.)

Is this collection notice, and the annoying people that begin calling because of this debt the REAL problem? No. They are symptoms of not paying that original bill or contract. So the effect was in place back then (an amount I agreed to pay, has not been paid by me.) All the moaning and wailing later about the late fees, collection calls and inconvenience of dealing with the urgent scenario now at hand could have been dissipated by better choices earlier in the process. That original amount is so buried in this compunded mess - we aren't even touching it any more.) Also the original amount was a KNOWN FACTOR whether it was given or not. It is up to us to manage that responsibility and plan for it.

THAT is what is spiritual in my book. It translates to: You KNOW you will die some day. (Name one person who hasn't). So the bill has come, even though there is no deadline or urgency yet. It is the awareness of a pending installment. Now, will you make your spiritual installments all along the way so it doesn't come due in a big nasty way... or will you just see how long you can avoid the collection calls, dodge the bullets and give the minimum regardless of what you actually OWE. Or (TRUMPETS BLARING here for EMPHASIS)... will you plan and set aside spiritual savings (as it were)... all along the way? Ever meet those people who don't lack for anything and so they are at ease materially? Well translate that "wealth" to your spiritual life... that is what we call MERIT. And... you can BANK on it (spiritually speaking).

That is my thought for today. I am picking up my scattered cards from the floor now. I now know the game for future reference, and so I am going to learn a better way to avoid this in the future. No more trickery... no more deception. Next lifetime: Gin Rummy BABY!! ; )

Thank you for reading my humble opinions of your own free will.

Til Death Do Us Pardon

This is an insightful article that my friend Palzang (the monk that John and I shared a house with for a few years here in Sedona) wrote after attending a recent conference:

Buddhism and the Death Penalty

From: Palzang Buhmeyer

Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008 at 1:51pm

I don’t know if this is the right place to put this, but here it is.
Yesterday (Saturday) I attended a conference in Phoenix at Arizona State University put on by the Arizona Coalition to end the death penalty. It was quite illuminating as they had speakers who fell on both sides of the fence, from prosecutors to Quakers. Mostly it was from the legal side of the issue – how the death penalty works in Arizona, what are the legal arguments for and against the death penalty. There was very little on the moral and ethical consequences of putting people to death, which itself was very revealing.

It turns out that even if you view the death penalty in cold economic terms it makes absolutely no sense at all. In Arizona it costs on average $31 million (yes, million) to prosecute a death penalty case to completion. It also takes on average 18-19 years from arraignment to execution. However, only about 1% of death penalty eligible cases ever lead to execution. Important factors in deciding whether to pursue the death penalty in a case are race and economic status. Someone who can afford an attorney (i.e. who can afford competent representation) almost never gets the death penalty. And yet there are those – including the county attorney from Maricopa County (Phoenix) who spoke at the conference – who vociferously claim that the death penalty serves as a deterrent. However, the death penalty in the US as it is currently carried out meets none of the requirements for deterrence, such as quick punishment, certainty of punishment, and so forth. In fact, currently in Arizona, all but a scattered few death penalty cases are in Phoenix. Other municipalities and counties rarely attempt death penalty cases due to the cost and difficulty of winning such cases. Currently in Arizona all the death penalty cases are in Maricopa county except for 3 in Yavapai and one or two in Pima counties. Note that Phoenix is not the only large city in Arizona. Tucson is also over a million, yet there are few if any death penalty cases brought there. It is also questionable if someone who kills out of rage would ever think about the consequences beforehand. So the argument for deterrence has no basis.

Someone asked the prosecutor about why it was that in the EU (and all other civilized countries on earth) where they didn’t have the death penalty, their crime rates were so low. If the death penalty was a deterrent, one would expect these countries to have soaring murder rates while the US should be virtually free of them. However, the opposite is true. The prosecutor’s response was that these countries historically had low crime rates, so it wasn’t a valid question! I wonder what his opinion would be if he understood the law of cause and effect as taught by Lord Buddha. Could it be just the opposite, that the reason these countries have low crime rates is that they don’t practice institutionalized violence in the name of their citizens?

Several members of the American Friends Service Committee presented information they had gathered on how death row inmates are treated while awaiting execution. In Arizona they are held in administrative segregation, only allowed out of their cells for an hour or two three times a week to exercise and shower. The rest of the time they are held in their cells, including eating meals. Such isolation has been proven to cause worsening of psychological problems if already present (according to DOC data, about 16.8% of inmates have significant psychological problems) or cause them if not already present. In fact, the last execution to take place in Arizona – in 2007 – occurred after a Death Row inmate dropped all his appeals and demanded to be executed because he found life on Death Row to be so much worse than the prospect of death. In fact, there are over 1600 prisoners in Arizona who are on long-term administrative segregation, meaning over 3 months but in reality meaning at least 5 years. Last year alone 750 inmates were released from DOC directly from administrative segregation. Pleasant to contemplate, isn’t it?

Of course, there is also the problem of executing innocent people. Recently a long-time resident of Death Row was exonerated when DNA evidence showed that he did not commit the crime for which he was convicted. There are numerous stories about men who were executed who were later found to be quite innocent. Ooops!

All in all, the conference showed the futility, cruelty and ineffectiveness of the death penalty as a means of punishment and deterrence. The same sort of analysis has caused other states to abandon the death penalty, states like Minnesota and New Jersey. But the bottom line is that the chances of repealing the death penalty in Arizona are virtually nil. The good news is that executions are on hold in most states which still maintain the death penalty (36 of them) after the recent Supreme Court decision on the unconstitutionality of lethal injections.

As Buddhists we are taught not only not to take life but to do everything in our power to promote and sustain life. Yet some of us live in states where the state has the power to take life. It is a dilemma. No one is saying that the people who commit these murders are good people or that they should be just forgiven and sent on their way, but to kill them for killing another also makes no sense and should be stopped for we all share in the karma of killing when the state does it in our name.

Ellinwood Blues by Jetsunma

Okay... where to even start on how significant this is to me? First of all, see that beautiful woman over there in the blue jacket with the Golden Voice? That is my Lama... Jetsunma. If you read my old blog before it bit the dust - you know a bit about her.

See that photo she is wielding in her left hand? That is the cover of her CD just released on April 1st called "Ellinwood Blues".

What's it got to do with me? It is to the core inspiration for me as her student.

No doubt any of you could run out and get this CD tomorrow and not really hear the Buddhist Wisdom that pervades this work. THAT is why it is such a killer album. (We do still say album right? I don't miss scratchy vinyl... but I digress)

So with 10 years of history as her student, Jetsunma has miraculously woven this magic carpet ride together for me and every student or music fan. Here is my personal excitement about it:



This is Ellinwood Ranch, my first address in Arizona when John and I moved here in May of 1999. This is the place that I learned most of my fundamental teachings about being a Tibetan Buddhist Practitioner. This is the land I got to spend precious intimate time hearing direct words of my Perfect Teacher... this is where I got to reconcile my undying love for Christ and my Newfound Love for Ahkon Lhamo. This place was a magical playground for me. I worked hard, I played and prayed hard... I received both of my dogs on this very property: Sarah in 2000 from Jetsunma to John and I, and Joy in 2005 - after Katrina ravished her home. I lived at "Ellinwood" four more months after Katrina. Joy and Jetsunma were photographed in a feature article written about Tara's Babies... and within 30 minutes of that photo, I became Joy's new Dad. It was a very emotional moment for me... and began to salvage my relationship with John.

Then this past fall (2007) I was part of a team that got to drive Jetsunma from Maryland to Ellinwood Ranch (aka Dakini Valley) where she recorded this amazing Blues album with "Blinded By View" in about 2 weeks.

Her gift of this music is not all about ME (as my post would have you believe) but I just felt moved to tell you WHY I am so crazy about this music (aside from the fact that it is damn good stuff!) Blue Tara was invoked on this property once, 100 students learned the current version of the 7 line prayer we recite on this property. The Chimed Sok Thig was first practiced with our lama on this property... and so many miracles yet to come.

Now THAT is what I call some powerful Blues!!

Wanna taste of the music? click here

Skillful Means ain't even the half of it!!!